25 weeks into this pregnancy, and I feel like I'm coming out of the honeymoon phase. But more on that later…
Christmas was a fabulous three week long holiday where we ate turkey and toffee at every meal. My mom was here for a bit, which was such a treat, and we splurged on a beautiful Swanson's nursery tree, and watched our apartment transform into a Christmas wonderland. Having a 4-year-old brings this crazy-joyful intensity into the holidays. Frankly, we don't buy much for her during the year, and so having the excuse to give her new books, new games, new puzzles, legos, some little figurines, and a chocolate Santa bear…. it's just really fun. Then, the days that follow are wonderful too. She gets to work playing and setting up everything, completely focused, like she's writing a legal brief, or something of great importance. New princesses and animals have to be incorporated into the ecosystem of her dollhouse. Picnics have to be made, and we have to play her new card games a million times. She disappears in her room or under the table with a new book, and pops out every twenty minutes to ask for help with word she's stuck on.
Christmas was a fabulous three week long holiday where we ate turkey and toffee at every meal. My mom was here for a bit, which was such a treat, and we splurged on a beautiful Swanson's nursery tree, and watched our apartment transform into a Christmas wonderland. Having a 4-year-old brings this crazy-joyful intensity into the holidays. Frankly, we don't buy much for her during the year, and so having the excuse to give her new books, new games, new puzzles, legos, some little figurines, and a chocolate Santa bear…. it's just really fun. Then, the days that follow are wonderful too. She gets to work playing and setting up everything, completely focused, like she's writing a legal brief, or something of great importance. New princesses and animals have to be incorporated into the ecosystem of her dollhouse. Picnics have to be made, and we have to play her new card games a million times. She disappears in her room or under the table with a new book, and pops out every twenty minutes to ask for help with word she's stuck on.
Toys may just be toys… but they can also be so much more.
And they have given me the luxury of time to myself over the past couple of weeks. --Time to sit on the couch and sketch, or maybe sleep a little, or just breathe while the baby kicks.
When I was pregnant with Violet, I read that the third trimester is the "growing phase". --Where the baby, pretty much all formed by then, just starts to grow and grow and grow, and get big and ready for the world. I think I cried at that point, because, then, I couldn't possibly imagine getting any larger than I already was. I wasn't big at all. But being first-time-pregnant, you feel huge at every stage.
This time, I haven't really felt so big…yet. Just suddenly completely and totally uncomfortable.
Why is it that there is so much ligament pain the second time around? Shouldn't my belly remember this from the first time?
I'm trying to keep smiling, but 6-months is definitely the trail marker (at least for me) where suddenly there is this small voice in my head-- pretty much constantly-- like an angel/devil on my shoulder-- that dryly repeats profanities throughout every circumstance during the day. Example: The clerk at the bank wants to chat about the weather, and all my little voice is saying is "f-you and your f-ing weather". I know, it's horrible.
I can't wait for this baby to be here. I can't wait to hold her in my arms, and be up at 2am just smelling her head in the dark against my shoulder. I can't wait to look into her marble eyes and see the whole world and the heavens and the future staring back. And, in the midst of that, I can't wait to slowly have my body back.
Ok third trimester, do you thing. We've done this before, we can do it again.
More photos from the holidays…..
Great post, Rachel. I can relate in so many ways. We too do not buy our children very many things throughout the year, so it is so much fun to be able to do so at Christmas. I'm so glad you had a great holiday.
ReplyDeleteI can also relate to the internal dialogue of profanity during the last trimester. I know you know this - but it will all be worth it. And you look absolutely gorgeous in the photos, even if you are not feeling it.
I'm not sure if you are still doing Zumba or not. I had to call it quits for a while. Our newest addition is now three months old and I will be going to M and W evening classes starting next week. Maybe I will see you at the Y.
I hope you have a good night's rest and that the last trimester passes without worry or stress.
Thanks for reading, Rebecca! It's great to hear from you. I've been thinking about you a lot and wondering how you've been adjusting to your 4th little one. I
Deletehave missed seeing you at Zumba. I've been going to the Monday Zumba Gold class, and then sometimes the Friday 5:30 class. I've been way too tired to make it to any of the later classes, and now I think I might have to give up Fridays as well… everything is just getting too uncomfortable (back hurts, braxton-hicks pains, etc…). Have fun as you enter back into Zumba! Hopefully I'll join you later in the spring sometime :) xo
I love my baby sister and who you have grown into... Violet is a cookie cutter Rachel when you were 4.
ReplyDeleteAww, I love you too. xo
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