Well, let me tell you, having a 2.5 year old in the house changes things a bit. This is the first holiday season that Violet has been completely aware of what's going on, and she is LOVING it. It's a bit like having our own personal holiday elf in the house. Just completely overwhelmingly wonderfully ridiculously enthusiastic about it all. I can't help but have my spirits lifted by this little nymph, even in the wake of losing my cat, and also losing a cherished member of our extended family (Bob Fuerst) recently.
At the end of a hard week and the end of the Thanksgiving weekend, I want to remember those we have recently lost, and also give thanks to those people in my world-- mainly Violet and Tyler-- who make the hard parts of life fall just a little more gently.
While I was rocking Violet the other night, Violet said to me Moon is in heaven. I responded by asking her What is heaven? And she said Heaven is the city where Moon went to feel better.
We are not particularly religious people, but my child is a gentle soul, and somehow this idea of heaven-- a place to be happy and healthy and renewed-- especially in the midst of the holiday season, just seems to speak to all of us.
Bob, we miss you. I am glad that you and Moon have each other; two of the warmest gentlemen I have ever known; and it warms every inch of me to know that there are two pairs of shining blue eyes now watching over us all.
I'd like to leave you with poem by my favorite poet, Billy Collins...
The Dead
The dead are always looking down on us, they say.while we are putting on our shoes or making a sandwich,
they are looking down through the glass bottom boats of heaven
as they row themselves slowly through eternity.
They watch the tops of our heads moving below on earth,
and when we lie down in a field or on a couch,
drugged perhaps by the hum of a long afternoon,
they think we are looking back at them,
which makes them lift their oars and fall silent
and wait, like parents, for us to close our eyes.
and when we lie down in a field or on a couch,
drugged perhaps by the hum of a long afternoon,
they think we are looking back at them,
which makes them lift their oars and fall silent
and wait, like parents, for us to close our eyes.
Dear Rachel,
ReplyDeleteThis year was to be the first one that my daughter Jessica wasn't going to be home for Christmas. I was trying to figure out how I was going to get through it without her joy and excitement of the holiday. Though Michael of course is into it, Jess is the one who makes sure we get a big enough tree, makes the sugar cookies, use all the decorations in the house, etc. I was going to drive MIchael and I up north to be with her in Portland, but was worried about snow and my tiny car, so was beginning to think this might be the first real Christmas without my daughter, a day I knew would come and probably would be this year. To say I had a heavy heart would be an understatement. Sometimes the gods feel this energy and act upon it: airfares suddenly got low and Jess really wanted to come home. So, she will be flying in December 20! I am so excited and feel soooo lucky to have one more year!
Enjoy every minute of Violet's wonder and glee, Rachel. There is nothing like your own child's enjoyment of the holidays, especially when they're young.
Hope to see you all when you're down here. Pretty soon, yay!
LL
I'm so excited for you that your little girl is coming home! I really can't wait to see you guys... xoxo Rachel
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